09.12.24 Final Text from Jacob's Family

Below is the final text I received from Jacob's sister on September 12, 2024... and then childishly blocked me.  Jacob's spirit was apparently not guiding her 🙄. 

In late July, I asked his sister if she could speak to “the friend” who had stolen Corduroy, and request that Corduroy visit me and Reagan during the week of my upcoming birthday.  Corduroy and Jacob were planning on spending it with me, as we did every year, just as we had plans for his 40th birthday Oct 21st. You can read her lengthy and response to my request HERE . (Note: She disparages her brother, makes baseless allegations misusing info, and defends the irresponsible manipulative "friend" who stole Corduroy, and tried to justify substance fueled toxic environment Corduroy has been forced to endure.)

Together, these two women denied Corduroy the chance to visit the only other home she had ever known—a place where she could have run freely in her yard with Reagan and spent time with the family she and Jacob had been part of. On my first birthday in nine years without Jacob, I couldn’t help but reflect on how two people who proclaim to be "best friends" of Jacob's, could make such a selfish and disrespectful decision on behalf of Jacob. 

After that decision, I realized that neither of these women were capable of or had interest in making selfless decisions that prioritize what Jacob would have wanted if he were alive. The events since he died and our conversations made it clear to me that neither truly understood who Jacob had become — someone who had grown profoundly through three years of rehab / therapy and personal evolution before his passing.

After a series of disconnected texts from her, this is the text I sent to his sister, expressing my feelings, along with her reply. My intent was to share the hurt and frustration I felt from the decision they made, assuming they are entitled to deny Jacob's loved ones of compassion.  Her angry response, attempting to portray herself as a victim, we learned in therapy is a common characteristic of those who are in denial of unresolved trauma, thus refusing to take responsibility for their own actions or words. 

 

 

Fact Checks:

• Her claim that I was "the only one" who found Jacob's death suspicious is not only false but incredibly irresponsible. Jacob's death was deemed suspicious by both the medical investigator and law enforcement present that day, based on their assessment of the scene, those interviewed, and their preliminary examination of his body. When I first spoke with the medical investigator on June 23, she shared that she found "the friend" who stole Corduroy to be deceptive, and noted suspicious inconsistencies between the family's statements about Jacob and those provided by those interviewed at the scene.  This suspicion contributed to the medical examiner determining an autopsy was warranted, along with full toxicology and histopathology reports. His death became more "suspicious" when those reports came back clean, prompting further investigation by authorities. I kept his sister informed of everything I discovered, however she's in denial that she's being manipulated by "the friend" who stole Corduroy, and she herself is using "the friend" to make liquidating his assets more convenient for her as she stated.  Jacob’s family didn’t even attempt to contact the friend who discovered his lifeless body to offer a compassionate word or ask any questions of his final days / hours.
• Instead of easily refreshing her memory by simply scrolling up in our text thread to see what was actually said, she chooses to push a defamatory and false narrative.  After his sister told me that Corduroy would be returned to me she called me the next day asking me to keep this information from "the friend" who stole Corduroy because she needed her assistance with Jacob's estate. She also referred to herself as a "peacemaker" as a middle sibling. Read that text HERE. 
• I will never forget that day I learned that Jacob died.  I was nervous to speak with is family for the first time in 9 years.  The first thing I said to his sister was "I want you to know how much Jacob loved those kids." Jacob and I shared a bond as big brothers to younger sisters both about four years younger. Both of our sisters made us uncles for the first time, with our nephews born just nine months apart. As brothers do, Jacob and I often talked about our “annoying little sisters,” and how proud we were of the incredible mothers they had become and how much we adored our nephews. Ironically his sister's first words to me that day were "I know Jacob loved you and dropped Corduroy off with you to watch when he was out of town." --- Lies told to her from "the friend" who stole Corduroy who called to coach his sister prior to giving me her number (which I had.) 
• "No one is required to speak to you," Every friend and colleague I reached out to warmly welcomed my calls and messages. The only two individuals who have been deceptive, avoidant, and manipulative are his sister and "the friend" who stole Corduroy.
• The only "recurring theme" to speak of... is his sister's defamatory statements and false narratives. This woman knows nothing about my personal relationship with Jacob or anyone else. Jacob didn't share much of his personal life with people who he didn't feel were trustworthy, or had his best interests in mind, including his bio-family. 
• "Jacob said a lot of things. Sometimes it was true; a lot of times it wasn't." That might reflect her recollection of who Jacob was in their childhood 25 years ago, but it doesn’t represent the man he had become. From the day we met, thru three years of trauma recovery and therapy, Jacob valued honesty and accountability. His recovery transformed him into someone who held himself to those principles every day.
• "It was also my 10 year wedding anniversary." DARVO is an acronym that describes a common tactic of narcissistic personalities: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim Offend. It’s a way to avoid accountability by portraying themselves as the victim. On this day I sent her a message expressing the hurt I felt after being denied a visit with Corduroy—a decision made by her and "the friend" who stole Corduroy.  Instead of acknowledging her decision, she attempts to cast herself as the victim. I had no knowledge of her wedding anniversary, yet these two women were fully aware of my birthday request and deliberately chose to deny Corduroy a visit to the family and home where she was raised. Their manipulative actions were selfish, calculated and deliberate. 
• "I will contact LBPD myself," More lies.  I don't believe Jacob's family even contacted LBPD to inquire into the investigation.  Had they done so she would have learned of "the suspicion" she seems so confused about.  WE DO NOT LEARN BY TELLING, WE LEARN BY ASKING QUESTIONS. Other than asking me if her brother killed himself or over-dosed, the only questions she asked me was my birthday to do my chart.
• IT WAS THIS TEXT FROM JACOBS SISTER that prompted me to visit Bixby Animal Hospital the following week where I learned Jacob had indeed named me Corduroy's secondary caregiver as he told me he had, even choosing to give me full POA over her affairs. PROVING AGAIN that Jacob did not have a habit of saying things he did not mean to those people who had earned his trust. 

 

In Conclusion:

It turns out that, "from a legal standpoint," I have been the ONLY PERSON with any legitimate say over Corduroy's well-being. After I informed Jacob's sister and her family of the only signed and dated documentation indicating Jacob’s wishes for Corduroy, I was contacted by Jacob's estate attorney who asked me to communicate thru him. 

BOTH Jacob's sister and "the friend" who stole Corduroy lied to the LBPD detective investigating Jacob's death, and his estate attorney.  The stated that the reason "the friend" who stole Corduroy changed her number, was because I had been harassing them.  The real reason was because Jacob had been paying the "friends" bills for years, and her cell was on his plan.  

Within 2.5 weeks of sending this text where she proclaimed that she is "not a vindictive person" and "not a liar.",  Jacob's sister has refused to return Corduroy to me or to relinquish any of my belongings.

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Considering the consistent false and accusatory claims by both of these women, and in anticipation of an inevitable probate hearing and in the interest of full transparency, I will be uploading the complete record of my conversations with Jacob's sister,  spanning from June 12 to the present, along with texts shared with me by "the friend" who stole Corduroy. I previously told all authorities investigating Jacob's death that I would allow them to read any and all convos in my phone. I do not believe either of these women would ever offer the same. 

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